Your intimation of Mr Gaspey's intention to support my proposed application to the Literary Fund Society is very acceptable and most kind2 — for, in truth, moving about is distressing to my limbs, and the purport of my visits painful to represent — and now, such proceedings on my part are almost out of the question. On my return home Mrs. H., who has been my most solicitous and affectionate nurse and in the calamity with which it has pleased God to visit me, I found rather unwell, and in less than half an hour, after putting her feet into warm water I had the utmost difficulty in getting her into bed, where she became delierious, and whence she has never since removed. This was on Saturday, and you may imagine my situation in a lone place, with no one in the house but my three little girls.3 I am worn down by fatigue. My poor wife's illness proceeds from overexertion, and anxiety under our exigence. Today the fever is abating, and my utmost care must be directed to keep her up from exhaustion, and prevent its termination in Typhus. You see how much I have on my hands and heart.
The Rev. Mr. Lambert, of the old Church Camberwell, has, unknown to me, interested Mr. Harrison of the Literary Fund Committee, and will place in that gentleman's hands my statement, for the purpose of being introduced by him at the Meeting on Wednesday. I avail myself of your friendship to say, that there is a way in which you "can be of use" in this matter. So far, and so long, as you have had a personal knowledge of me, be so good as to certify it in writing, with that favorable opinion of my character on which I presume the esteem you have of me is founded. I should have imagined that one who has so moved in the world as it has been my lot to do, might fairly be supposed of good character — that the absence of assault in that particular, from a host of assailants on public grounds, would be circumstantial evidence that my reputation presents no point of weakness. I am told, however, that I should have testimony to my "respectability," in a moral sense — now, if you have ever heard anything ill of me, it will be proper you should be silent, but as I believe you have not, because I think it is not in the power of living being to urge with truth anything to my prejudice, so from what you may have observed and heard of me the other way I venture to bespeak your good opinion. Such a paper in the hands of your friend (who I am happy through you to consider in this matter my friend) Mr. Gaspey, to be produced by him on Wednesday. I shall return a service. I believe I could command a hamper of such testimonials, but one from you, would be evidence to him, and his knowledge of you would enable him to hand in such a paper with confidence. My friend Mr. Charles Lamb is the only man who knows me intimately — all my other intimacies have been with books — but I fear from Miss Lamb's illness, which is of a very peculiar nature, he may be ill himself, and though I have written to him at Enfield it is just possible I may not hear from him in answer.4 — As you will see Mr. Gaspey, you will perhaps intimate to him my utter need. I find I owe £40 within a pound or so — the whole of it presses, for it is to little tradespeople, & for Rent & taxes to Christmas last. If I am enabled to discharge that amount, I think it possible, that I may scramble on with my pen, and under the restorative influence of that Power which afflicted me, be enabled to pick up something for the future support of my family. Already I feel the revivifying effects of the weather, and I think this epistle may warrant my belief that my pen may yet indite a good matter — I have not written such a letter since I have been here. I am sorry today, that, for a particular reasons, I do not pay its postage.
[Addressed:]
For
John Scott Esq
11 College Street
Westminster